I thought that some how I would’ve settled into this life without you by now. Not get used to it or accept it but just get on with it but I’m not. I hate it. I am in a constant state of confusion and disbelief and dazed. How can I settle into this life when it’s the last thing I want to do ? I want my old life back. My life as a mum of 4 living kids. I don’t want to go through life as a grieving mum. It’s a wicked existence. I want you back and I want me back. Love and miss you so much xxxxx