Struggling today Nath. Thinking about how unhappy you must have been how alone you must have felt how desperate you must have felt. I understand how it feels to not want to live anymore but to get to a point where you think this place would be better without you.... the kids your brothers your sister me.... all of us better without you is incomprehensible. We need you here with us. We are worse without you. You are such a massive piece of us that’s no longer here. How can we be better without you ? We are not. We miss you and love you so much. It’s so hard trying to understand. Xxxxxx. Today is another horrible day. I love you. I miss you. xxxxxx