I look for the red kite... I look for the N shaped clouds.... I look for the shadows that shouldn’t be there.... I look for the unexplained flashes of light. I smell for that diesel construction site smell or the smell of your aftershave.... I listen for your whispers or your voice. I look everywhere for you.... I’ll never be ready to let you go. My beautiful unique complicated son... my life my love my soul. I miss you and love you til the end of days. I will never believe that this is it. I will never believe I’ll never see you again. Xxxxxx my forever 27 son Nathan xxxxxxx