Sat on my wooden swing thinking of you and everything you and us are missing out on. I don’t know if you’re with me or not.... sometimes I feel like this is some one else’s nightmare other times I think this can’t be it and I will see you again. Sometimes I feel you must be with me.... this can’t be it. Oh my god I miss you.... I don’t even want to imagine how low you must’ve felt that Saturday to do what you did. Why didn’t you come to me ? I would’ve moved heaven and earth to help you but you never gave me the chance. Nathan my first born... my son... I love you more than life itself I miss you I hate this xxxxx