These last few days I have really been struggling. I seem to be in a dark place. I made myself look at photos of you earlier. Big mistake ! I want to remember the happy times. I want to scream from the roof tops all that you achieved in your too short life and how proud of you I am..... but it just hurts too much. Reminding myself of everything in you that I will never see again. Your sense of humour. Your smile and your beautiful blue eyes. The further away from 15th July 2017 I get the harder it is to come to terms with the fact that you’re really gone.... just like that..... in an instant...... my beautiful unique boy..... my son..... gone. I hate this.....