Sat watching Rory sleep and my god he looks so like you. It breaks my heart knowing that he will never know you and what a good daddy you would have been to him just like you were to Reann. The most heartbreaking thought of all is the realisation of how low you must of felt and what a dark place you must’ve been in to do what you did and I never knew. I knew you were not right and I was constantly worried that you would do what you did but why didn’t I do more to stop you ? Why didn’t I make you talk to me ? I really should’ve tried so much harder. Why did I fail you Nath ? I am so so sorry I shouldve done more... I don’t know what but I should’ve found a way to help you. I will never forgive myself for failing you. I love you so much and miss you terribly. I just wish I’d done more and I’m sorry xxxxxxxxxxx