Every night I look at your photo before I go to bed. I talk to it. It brings me some kind of comfort now but for a long time I couldn’t look at it without bursting into tears. I miss you so much and as much as I hate it and I don’t want it to.... life has to go on it just has to. I don’t want to be here anymore not without all my kids but the simple truth is I HAVE to be here. All I have is the hope that I will see you again and this pain and you leaving so soon was all for a reason.... I can’t understand what that reason is but I’m hoping one day I will know. I love you son so bloody much xxxxxxx