Christmas Eve.... the second one without you and it is so much harder than last year. I think the numb shock has worn off and been replaced by reality and I know you’re gone. I will try and smile more this Christmas I will try to enjoy the people around me but just know you are on my mind and in my heart every second. I love you so much and miss you more and more as time goes by but I’m learning to live with this pain and getting better at hiding it I think. If I could have 1 wish it would be that I could’ve made you happier in life.... so happy that you would’ve stayed..... I failed you in that respect. I failed as your mum. Xxxxx